Talking to people can be hard, whether they are people we love or complete strangers. Sometimes it can also be difficult to find the crowd of people that we fit into or to find ways to connect to those already in our lives. For these reasons, board and card games, or more specifically, tabletop games, are an excellent tool for bringing people together. Not only are tabletop games fun, they are a great way to combat social isolation and improve mental health.
Sitting around a table with a shared activity can create a great sense of togetherness and games provide an amazing buffer if you find socialising difficult. Even though interaction is encouraged by the nature of a game, standard pleasantries and the need for small talk is eliminated and connecting with others becomes easier. Immersing yourself in a game is also a great way to get your brain thinking about things other than the usual ups and downs of life.
The second Thursday in September every year is R U OK? day. In the spirit of this important question and of reaching out and forming connections, R U OK 2 Play? events will be running across the country from the Friday before R U OK? Day, to the Sunday after. Run by experienced (and very friendly) tabletop gaming event organisers, these events are for everyone, no matter your background, no matter your demographic and no matter your level of gaming experience!
What you can do before the event:
Contact your host – If you are particularly shy or nervous, or are very uncertain about what to expect, feel free to contact the event host. Hosts know their games and their community, they can keep an eye out for you when you arrive and set you up with a game and players that they think might suit you. Don’t forget, your host was new to this once too!
Just turn up – Tabletop gaming events tend to be very casual with people coming and going for the duration. Most gamers are just happy to have someone to play with, it’s not going to make much difference to them what your background is or what your reasons for being there are.
What you can do when you arrive:
Arrive early – Walking into a room full of people can be nerve racking, so arrive before it’s full. It will be much easier for hosts to engage you one on one and less overwhelming with relatively few people there. Hosts will also often run ‘warmer’ or ‘filler’ games while people are still arriving. These are games that are very light, have very few rules, play out in 10 or 15 minutes and make great ice breakers.
Pre-engage – Those of us with social anxiety sometimes need a bit of time to prepare before engaging with a group of people. Feel free to take a game from the common pile/shelf, open it and go through the components and rules on your own (curious passers by do it all the time!) while you build your nerve. Have a wander around the room and check out what people are playing. Which games are generating the most laughter, which ones seem to require lots of concentration?
What you can do after the event:
Reach out – Let someone know that you enjoyed playing with them or reminisce about a particularly bold or lucky play that was made.
Game more – Tabletop gaming is very popular and chances are there is a local gaming group in your area. Talk to your event host and ask if they know of, or run any other local gaming events. Talk to other players, often gaming enthusiasts belong to multiple gaming groups. Many gaming events and communities are also listed on social media sites like Facebook and Meetup.
What we don’t recommend:
“I’ll just watch” – Watching a game being played is not very inclusive. Also, watching other people having fun that you’re not involved with can be isolating. Even if when you arrive, there are no spots available in a game, pull up a chair and get yourself involved, ask about the rules or even the theme of the game, you won’t be disturbing, I promise! Chances are someone will arrive not long after you and one of the hosts will be able to organise a game for you.
Leaving after one game – Often, between games is when the social barriers come down. It’s when players discuss the game they just played or start a conversation about ‘what should we play next?’ The next game you play will quite often be with different people from the first one, so the more games you play the more potential connections you can make.
Researching Games Beforehand – If you’re new to tabletop gaming, trying to learn rules or even just looking at a game with lots of colours and pieces can be daunting. More often games are a lot easier than they look and learning to play a game with other people is half the fun! Making mistakes, confusion or miscommunication can even make playing a game much more entertaining. After all, it’s about how much fun you have, not whether you win or lose